At Christmas nobody has time to ask the important questions.
So, I’ll do it.
Like, why would anybody give someone a partridge in a pear tree? What is the proper response if you open a gift and it’s myrrh? How did Snoopy and the others get that scrawny tree to look so pretty?
Does the Grinch have a girlfriend? After 2000 years, why does the world still have leaders as idiotic as Herod? Why do companies think we want to watch commercials that reduce beautiful Christmas music to silly jingles? What ever happened to carolers?
Does anybody else have an attic that resembles the Island of Misfit Toys? Am I the only one who puddles up when Tiny Tim says, “God bless us everyone”?
Does Santa have an email address? What is the power bill at Callaway Gardens this time of year? Just how many college football bowls can we create? Who do you like in the AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl? What, exactly, is an elf? Do people with big feet—and, therefore, big stockings—get more presents?
When you go to sleep on Christmas Eve, do you have visions of sugar plums dancing in your head? Does anybody? When you sing “Away in a Manger” can you hit the low notes? If the innkeeper had asked, would anybody have relinquished their room?
And finally, is there room in our lives for the Christ Child? I hope so. Merry Christmas!
Ballard is district attorney for the Grif-
ﬁn Judicial District, which includes
Fayette, Upson, Spalding and Pike coun-