Wyrick: The attitude of gratitude does work

2010-02-09

By Lois Wyrick

We are never too old to learn from our children and they are never too young to teach us. I have a good example of the latter. This child was the one that tested my patience and I, now, realize that I really didn't know how to respond to a strong willed child. I remember the scene as if it were yesterday.

She stood there with a defiant look on her 12-year-old face while I gave my lecture and her eyes never moved as she looked at me. A few seconds after I finished, she said, "You talk too much." Her words washed over me as if I were in a shower of water and I thought, "she is right--I do talk too much." I used far too many words and I couldn't believe that I was doing the very thing that I hated when I was a child.

We have talked about this and both realized that parents aren't necessarily the smartest kids on the block. She did the very same thing to her strong-willed child and was also told she talked too much. Now, that everyone has reached adulthood, we can talk about it and even laugh about it.

Our eldest son has had to cope with a lot in his lifetime--their house burned and they lived in a rental until the house could be rebuilt. There have been medical problems and other life problems. Medical insurance has been a concern since his children have reached adulthood and work at jobs that have no fringe benefits. His work in education hasn’t always paid enough to meet the needs of his family. Yet, he handles it well.

I asked him, recently, if he gets weary of the struggle. He answered with this. "No, I don't and the reason is that I know how fortunate I am." He explained that he just focuses on his blessings and that makes the difference. An example is that no one was injured in the fire and he centers on that instead of property loss. He lives his rule that looking at the good puts the bad in the background.

This is a marvelous way of thinking as we cope with life. It doesn't mean that our problems will leave us but it will give us a different perspective about them. He is a great witness for his belief and one can't help but want what he has.

We need to be reminded of this as we go through life. We can get caught up with our "pity party" and when we do life becomes difficult. This attitude from an adult child does touch a mother's heart. And to quote John Wesley, "my heart was strangely warmed."

Our eldest daughter has also gone through some difficult times. Watching her and her family cope with the loss of their son gives a beautiful example. She was determined to help her daughters enjoy life again. She doesn't talk about this but watching her speaks loudly. She and her family, along with Jonathan's friends, made a big difference in the world of heart diseases. They give a scholarship in their son's name and with their attitude they helped their daughters to live life to the best of their ability.

Our youngest son and his family have a strong faith and they walk their journey with God as their director. They were with us when they moved back from Minnesota. They stayed as long as it took to build their house. That was a very beautiful time for Ed and me. Hours of life discussions helped me to see life from a new perspective. Yes, I had a faith but the dimension of that faith increased. Their two little girls brought laughter and joy to our home and we loved those moments. But it was their faith that touched me and I have thanked God for this family and our time together.

Learning doesn't always require words. Knowing someone and watching them often can be an inspiration.

One of our granddaughters and her family live near to us. This father of three lost his job due to the recession in our nation. We have been impressed with how well they handled it. They understood what had to be done, and they did it. If you didn't know of their problem you would not have suspected it. They have had an upbeat manner that impresses all of us.

My life changed drastically five years ago. I could walk when I went in the hospital but five weeks after being there I realized I would be wheel chair bound. I had a serious back and kidney problem. I was not given the option of surgery. To quote the doctor I missed that opportunity 20 years ago. My doctor is still amazed that I can use a walker. I am grateful for that blessing even though I am not able to climb stairs. I didn't have to go on dialysis, and that was a blessing even though I do have problems. Yes, gratitude does work. It can change your world.


Wyrick is a Sharpsburg resident and a regular columnist for this newspaper.

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